Typical and Atypical

This New Years' Eve I attended a little soirée at a family friends' home up in West Windsor. Annually they have this party, but this year unlike all previous years there was a great lack in attendance. In previous years they had held blockbuster parties with a guest list as long as this box of Oatmeal Creme Pies on my desk. In this immediate era, most would say economic downturn, I'll just add that there are unemployment issues at stake here. That being said, it was a small gathering of four families who all knew each other from the olden days. Yes, I'll get to this in a few paragraphs or so.

With a smaller party it was possible to have a more conservative meal, hot pot. You can't really have one hot pot for forty people, but you can for just nine. Coming to the dinner table, our family had arrived late and another family would be arriving even later. Sitting down, I was asked off-hand if I would like to have some wine. My parents practically answered for me in the affirmative, as did I, making it a sort of jest. Oh, you're 21 now, Jerome? "Want to see my ID?" I retorted with a jeering smile. And oh, the night began, around 6:45.

Discussion was rather light at first, eventually coming to the subject of New Years' resolutions. I had a little laugh in my head at the parents' failed pronunciations of "resolution." It was my mom's idea, but then she was called upon and had not had anything to say. Next to next of kin, I was called on promptly. Jerome, what is your New Years' re-zuh-lu-ocean? I in turn replied with my desire to find a part-time job, gain work experience, and such. Preferably one near campus or on campus itself. In retrospect, this small talk was child's play compared to what I had to converse with about on later endeavoring topics.

On and on we went, and there was quite the amount of time to talk because of the way hot pot food is cooked. There's a waiting period while you cover the pot and anticipate eating the next batch of food. It's all tasty and scrumptious, which is what keeps you going, but during the waiting periods, to which the mother host would proclaim, "Waiting Time!" we'd try to fill the silences with words. Somehow the discussion had reached their own children (well, we know how parents are always proud of their children). I represented myself properly at this table of nine as Ninth Wheel. Fairly early on I realized that I was the only "kid" at this table because the others were all parents. And so the mother was telling a story about how her son had gotten them to watch Dark Knight on Pay-Per-View for the first time ever on the 30th or so. Sometime in the middle of the movie, he had come clomping down the stairs, and the mother host had gone to see what was up. She saw her son all dressed and ready to go; I'm sure this gave her quite a jolt. She asked where he was going. Apparently he had just said "I'm going back to NYC." And that had been that! And so in relevance to conversation the mother host said to me, thanking me, that all of "us parents" can 'share' me tonight. You know, since I'm the only son that attended the party. She expressed her joy that I could have come along, so that all the parents could enjoy the company of the younger generation. I smiled and remarked to them about Empty Nesters and the two of them proclaimed, "we've been empty nesters for years now."

Later on in the dinner a photo album came out, and the parents started reminiscing about times now long past. At this point I thought, "this is definitely the time to bail or retreat to the study so I can finally read Blue Like Jazz," but I stayed for a few moments more. My mom had come to NY for college, and met the host couple and somehow these four families all knew each other from thirty years ago. Except me. Me, they'd just seen grown up since "you were THIS short!" In those ways it was a very typical family gathering. However, in others it was an atypical family gathering for there was a misrepresentation of children. What had happened to all the young'uns of these families? They're all out doing their own thing with their own families by now. So there is the plight of empty nesters. I gave this a lot of thought and have decided that I will try to be with my family all of these seasons. Even if I have my own nest in future years! I hope anyone reading this entry will consider this, too. Sometimes you never really know how much your parents miss you and how much they matter.

Cheers and Happy New Year!